I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
