Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
