ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
