Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
