Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I just found puke in my bra..
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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