3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize
