I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
