How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
