Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
