meet me or not, i'm out of control
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
