So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
