direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
