One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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