i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
