There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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