He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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