for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
