And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
