i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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