Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
