I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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