ADVERTISEMENT

• (650): View more from California

  i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!

  (408): View more from California

  Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...

  Fav 41 3709 1151

  share tweet
  

• (937): View more from Ohio

  Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.

  (937): View more from Ohio

  He had some in his pocket. That was weird.

  Fav 27 1334 5473

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.

  Fav 39 8742 1332

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.

  Fav 21 5082 1091

  share tweet
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?

  Fav 9 3010 1633

  share tweet
  

• (365): View more from

  Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine

  Fav 13 4990 1219

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (909): View more from California

  Every concussion has its silver lining

  Fav 8 1201 982

  share tweet
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love

  Fav 3 669 951

  share tweet
  

• (807): View more from Ontario

  Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.

  Fav 3 674 1027

  share tweet
  

• (281): View more from Texas

  I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.

  Fav 2 650 531

  share tweet
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?

  Fav 12 445 1107

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (325): View more from Texas

  I put a zucchini in my pussy for you

  Fav 8 760 979

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  Gay?

  (226): View more from Ontario

  German.

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Pity.

  Fav 3 296 217

  share tweet
  

• (713): View more from Texas

  It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"

  Fav 3 97 26

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (210): View more from Texas

  I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet

  Fav 0 26 10

  share tweet
  

Randomize