What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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