he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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