dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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