Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
he just fucked me for my cheese..
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
