Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
