I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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