Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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