butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
