what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize