im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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