last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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