So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
