and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
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