I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
