I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
