How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
