I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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