Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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