New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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