i don't like sucking hair
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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