ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
