I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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