I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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