he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
