OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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