I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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