Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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