I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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