There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
